Flat Earthers Are Meeting Up And Their Latest Theory Is Amazing

Flat Earthers Are Meeting Up And Their Latest Theory Is Amazing

Ever since ancient Greeks first proved that the Earth is spherical more than 2,000 years ago, we've all known that our planet isn't flat.

Just kidding.

Despite ample evidence to the contrary, a small but devoted group of people keep insisting the Earth is, in fact, flat.

They're holding their annual conference in Birmingham, UK.

Putting aside the question of whether those traveling to the conference noticed the curvature of the Earth on their flights over, it's worth noting that this conference is a pretty big deal.

Attendees were there to debate the latest and greatest flat Earth theories.

But first, they received their welcome kits, which included fluoride-free toothpaste (because fluoride is controlling your thoughts, probably). No word on whether tinfoil hats were available for those worried about brain surveillance.

Presenters confirmed that our flat planet is not, in fact, held up by turtles.

Turns out it's all about the giant's pillars, not the giant turtles. There's a sciencey-looking design under the pillars, so you know this theory makes sound scientific sense.

But there's so much more.

One researcher, David Marsh, told those in attendance that the Big Bang didn't happen.

Hmmm.

He also announced that he had proven that gravity itself doesn't exist, and the only thing stopping us from flying into space is magnets.

Still not convinced?

Well, Marsh assured the crowd that he'd proven the non-existence of gravity in his own yard, so there's that.

Harsher skeptics also took the stage with some intriguing ideas.

One speaker tried to explain how you can travel around a flat Earth.

He explained that the laws of space-time literally don't exist at the edges of the Earth, leading to a "Pac-Man effect" where people are teleported from one side of the planet to the other when they reach the edge.

Science, folks.

Some of the theories discussed were old classics.

Among them is the idea that Australia doesn't exist. Yes. This is adjacent to, but not the same as, the theory that Finland doesn't exist.

Where did this come from?

History is full of flat-Earthers, but the modern movement probably got started back in 1956 when an Englishman named Samuel Shenton started the Flat Earth Society.

Shortly after the founding of the society, the Soviets launched Sputnik.

You'd think a satellite launched into space around our spherical planet would debunk the idea once and for all, but...somehow, no.

Despite the Space Race, the Flat Earth Society persevered.

It was taken over by Charles K. Johnson, who grew the group to over 3,000 members.

It's worth noting here that neither Johnson nor Shenton were actual scientists.

Thanks to the internet, the Flat Earth Society is still thriving today.

As evidenced by their annual gatherings, there's no shortage of people in the world who are willing to believe that we live on a pancake.

We can't wait for next year's hot Flat Earth takes.

I don't know if it's depressing or inspirational that a devoted group of people has created their own reality with its own laws of science.