Every Woman Knows That Dressing Rooms Are Actually Depressing Rooms
Dress shopping isn't simply something one decides to do on a whim. It takes mental preparation, physical endurance, and a crap ton of determination.
You may walk in with your crew as mere acquaintances, but you will leave that mall as fellow soldiers who've seen battle the likes of which this world cannot imagine.
Basically, if you don't have nightmares following a shopping spree, you're not doing it right.
There are three crucial things every woman should avoid glancing at before a big haul: a mirror, your current bank balance, and your Tinder profile.
Looking at any of these three things can destroy your chances of a successful splurge.
If possible, don't even use your own credit card.
We don't want a spending limit to dampen the mood. Get your hands on someone else's card and start swiping. If that's not possible or legal, just pretend it's not your money, close your eyes, and hope. You can deal with the consequences later.
Unfortunately, you need one brutally honest friend to wade through the crap and give you a solid opinion.
She may make you cry, but I promise it will be worth it.
You may not believe in God, but I bet you'll break down and start praying when this inevitably happens.
You may as well get on your knees and repent before you even enter your favorite boutique. In instances like this, it's always best to stay on the big man's good side.
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