15 Times You Know The Honeymoon Is Over
It's hidden under every cozy blanket.
It's waiting in your favorite pair of sweatpants.
It's lurking on the PVR where your hundreds of The Mindy Project episodes are kept.
The end of the honeymoon phase.
There are many who go into denial, and they can manage to keep the phase going for a few months, even a few years if they are super lucky... and don't live together... and use the Wendy's washroom every time they need to make a number two.
But there are others who count the seconds for the end of the honeymoon phase. That magical time when you are your complete self, and the relationship has become a judgment-free zone.
Of course, it's good to keep some of the magic alive. So here are some tell-tale signs that the honeymoon phase is coming to an end and to watch out for the onslaught of action figures that will inevitably flood your home.
1. This is actually genius. I have to purchase two blankets. I need my blanket.
2. "No, babe, I'm not mad. I just know you told me to wash the car last month, so I'm getting to it! NO, I'M NOT MAD!"
3. No more sexy. None. I've seen you naked. I've seen you poop naked. The magic is just... gone.
4. Sports over all things. All the time. For life. Seriously... check out #8 if you don't believe me.
5. The only time flowers are delivered is when something is wrong. Despite being aimed at women, I'm pretty sure men will keep flower shops in business for centuries to come.
6. #Truth. I would have cut out a lot of crazy.
7. I will end you... seriously.
8. Did I mention sports above all things? That includes being in the dog house for the rest of your life. Like an actual dog house. It will be built. But hey, women can get in trouble too.
9. Commercials are coveted couple time. "Sure we can cuddle! Once they go to break, and before the analysts come back on." Cool, so like, 60 seconds. Nice.
10. Aren't nerds supposed to be hot now? Isn't that a thing? Turns out that lasts like two weeks.
11. Shit gets real. No, like... poop. All the time. Just everyday. Poop.
12. What everyone thinks. Not just women. Be honest. That wedding cake is going to be devoured, along with every other cake... as long as we both shall live.
13. Did I mention poop becomes all the time? I'm not waiting for you to finish brushing your teeth for two whole damn minutes! I'm about to blow!
14. When "I've got a surprise for you!" Isn't tickets to a concert, or eating out at a nice restaurant... it's a plantain.
15. As the braces generation ages, we must all eventually get used to this slurping disaster as we sleep.
Main image via Pinterest / Lauren Bumpers
Collage images via Instagram / @icbmlctt
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