14 Times Being An Adult Wasn't As Cool As You Thought
It happens to the best of us: we all grow up, and no matter how exciting the prospect may seem, it isn't as cool as you think. Being an adult goes hand in hand with having to do adult things, which leaves you less time to do the things you thought being an adult was all about. But don't get too sad. There are still lots of fun things to look forward to, like finally learning how to fold a fitted bed sheet.
1. Your Body Literally Starts to Betray You
If you are like me, you were convinced that the morning you turned 26, you were going to wake up a graceful woman with flawless skin and a body like Kate Upton. Guess what, kids, no such luck.
2. You Can No Longer Eat Whatever You Want
You can no longer eat whatever you want, and if you do eat whatever you want, it is going to take more than ten minutes on the treadmill and good intentions to wear it off.
3. You Are Tired. Always.
You will regret every nap you did not take as a child. I guarantee it. Being tired is no longer a feeling, but a perpetual state of being. The thought of being up past 10 p.m. will physically make you want to barf.
4. Nobody Validates Your Accomplishments Anymore
No one cares that you made it to work on time or actually packed a lunch. There is no award for successfully being a grownup except the satisfaction in knowing that you are somehow fooling everyone you know.
5. You Start To Relate More To Squidward Than SpongeBob
Let's be real for a second. Maybe Squidward wasn't that bad... Maybe he was just misunderstood.
6. Literally Everything Costs Money
Eventually, $3 will seem like a lot to spend on coffee, especially when it costs $4 to do a load of laundry.
7. There Is No Way You Can Drink Like You Used To
If you even attempt it, you will be unable to do anything for the next 48 hours. It isn't okay.
8. You Have To Work Full Time
There is no getting around it. You're going to have to leave the part-time job you had as a student and start a career. You will spend all your time doing this, and I hope for your sanity's sake you don't hate it completely.
9. All Those Things You Used To Ignore Don't Go Away
You are the only one who can book your doctor's appointment, and those voicemails aren't going anywhere, and you have to grocery shop for yourself. Same with laundry.
10. When You Realize Most Of What Your Parents Told You Is True
Mark my words the day will come when your parents will become the coolest people you know and you'll wonder what took you so long to see it.
11. Facebook Isn't Fun Anymore
This is because the people you never wanted to talk to again can find you, and the people you can tolerate are all getting engaged and having babies, and your claim to fame is that the local animal shelter just created an adopt-a-cat frequent flyer card in your name. Congrats.
12. You'll Have To Become Fluent In Small Talk
Whether it's at the office or waiting in line to buy the vegetables you're going to try to force yourself to eat, you are going to have to make a lot of small talk. It sucks and it is exhausting. My advice: make a list of five things to keep saying to people over and over.
13. People Will Expect You To Have Long Term Plans And Savings
Get ready for it. Everyone you meet is going to want to know what it is you have planned for the rest of your life. Every detail, every moment. They're also going to want to know how you're expecting to pay for it.
14. Making Friends Gets Really Hard
The friends you grew up with will still be around...in a sense. Every one, including you, will start to move on with their lives and it will get harder and harder to keep in touch. So, what do you do? Try and replace them. Don't be fooled by the enormous amount of people in the universe, making new friends is hard. Not everyone can be as cool as you. Tough break.
Main image and collage image via Instagram / @midge2788
